Monday, December 31, 2007

Five Worst of 2007.

1) I Pronounce You Chuck and Larry - This movie offends gays, women, men, Asians, and worst of all, people who think comedies are supposed to be funny. I took a close friend of mine to see this film before he left town for good. He hasn't spoken to me ever since. Was it because both of us were too busy? Maybe, but part of me still blames Adam Sandler and the dude from The King of Queens.

2) Spider-Man 3 - Just when Spider-Man 2 had given me hope that someone in Hollywood understood what had made comic books endure as an American art form (i.e., characters and continuity), Sam Raimi and company drop this over-villained sequel on the hearts of movie-goers across the globe. This movie offers three villains, lots of dancing, and a convoluted plot that paints all of the characters from this once mythic franchise into a corner. Rummor has it, Sony is planning a reboot a la Batman Begins for the fourth installment. Considering that almost no one bought the DVD for the highest domestic box-office hit of the year, I wouldn't be too surprised if that's true.

3) September Dawn - Bizarre. There was once a time when John Voight was a respectable performer. But now that I've seen him play an evil Mormon bishop in September Dawn, I realize those days are long, long gone. Even the Muslim hijackers in United 93 got a fairer shake than The Church of Latter Day Saints do in this smear film that feels like it was written by Jack Chick.

4) Epic Movie - Granted, I only sat in the theater for 25 minutes before walking out on this inexplicable box-office hit, but I still can't understand how this spoof managed to call itself Epic Movie when most of the films it lampooned (i.e., Nacho Libre, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, X-Men, etc.) were not epics themselves by any stretch of the imagination. Yet another franchise that ran out of steam a long time ago, I wouldn't be surprised if the producers gave up trying to come up with creative titles (just as they've done with their jokes) and simply called the next installment Movie Movie: There is No God. Chances are, Movie Movie would be a box-office hit, too.

5) Redacted - As a film enthusiast who opposes our nation's current war in Iraq, there's nothing I hate more than when a filmmaker uses my beliefs for an indefensibly bad film. That's exactly what Brian DePalma did with Redacted, his over-acted and under-written and directed flop which bombed at the box-office despite the uproar kicked up by Fox News pundits Sean Hannity and Bill O' Reilly. Those of you who agree America should have spent more time hunting the true evildoers of 9/11 and less time securing big oil interests in Iraq would be better served with No End in Sight or even In the Valley of Elah.

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